To identify the source of the discomfort I felt, I went through Satou’s middle school yearbook after that.
The part that took me the longest was undoubtedly finding Satou in middle school.
Because I skimmed through with the mindset that “the particularly cute girl is Satou”, I couldn’t find her in one round.
But that doesn’t mean there was a girl cuter than the current Satou…
In the first place, even if we’re talking about looks alone, it’s extremely difficult to be cuter than the current Satou.
In short, to sum it up…
Satou started wearing those plain glasses she said she got from her older sister in middle school.
And from around that time, her hair suddenly began to look unkempt, as if she had stopped caring for it.
Or rather, she probably did actually stop caring for it almost entirely.
Just a whim.
It would be nice if that were the case.
But would Satou really do something like that on just a whim?
At least the Satou I know isn’t that kind of person.
「Hinata-kun, sorry for the wa…」
Satou returned to the room with a tray of tea in one hand and froze when she saw me reading the yearbook.
The greeting she was about to say stops midway.
「Um… sorry for looking without asking.」
「…N-No. Now that you mention it, I did have those.」
She must have realized from my attitude that I had learned various things.
Satou smiled somewhat sadly and slowly moved to sit down in front of her bed.
She placed the tray of tea on the bedside table, then with a wry smile, patted the spot next to her.
「Shall we talk for a bit?」
She gently narrows her eyes and invites me to sit next to her, so I move to Satou’s side in response.
I sit at a distance where our shoulders don’t touch.
「Um… well…」
Perhaps nervous, she stretches out her arm as if to hold my hand.
However, she retracts it apologetically before touching me.
「Want to hold hands?」
「…Is that okay?」
「I don’t remember ever refusing before.」
「…Right. Sorry.」
I offer my palm to Satou as I suggest it.
This time, Satou slowly but surely placed her hand on mine.
「Hinata-kun’s hand is warm.」
「Satou’s is a bit cold.」
We exchange these words and chuckle.
Satou’s smile is usually cute, but now it carried a certain melancholy.
Perhaps she wants to share something from her past with me, but is also afraid to do so… that’s the feeling I get.
「Hey, Satou.」
「…Yes?」
I called her name as gently as possible, and Satou raised her face slightly.
I gently look into those anxious eyes.
「It’s only recently that Satou and I became friends. We weren’t acquaintances from before, and of course, we don’t have a long history together. So it’s perfectly fine if there are things you don’t want to talk about, in fact, that’s natural.」
No matter what Satou is hiding inside, I have no intention of stopping being friends with her.
So there’s no need to worry about that.
But…
「But if talking about it would make Satou feel even a little bit better, I’m always here to listen. Whether it’s complaints, not-so-happy stories from the past, anything. I want you to trust… or rather, I want you to rely on me, I guess.」
──Light Novels──
──Read Here──
I squeeze her hand as I convey this.
I have no intention of forcing Satou to talk about things she doesn’t want to.
But from Satou’s pained expression now, I strongly felt that she might feel better if she let it out.
Satou received my words, closed her eyes tightly once…
Then looked up at me with slightly moist eyes.
「…Will you listen, even if it’s a boring story?」
「Of course. As much as you want.」
I nodded firmly, and Satou smiled just a little while still holding my hand.
Then she looks somewhere far away and slowly begins to talk about her past.
「When I was in elementary school, I wasn’t this timid. I was about average when it came to being shy, maybe just a little bit… I had friends, and people I trusted…」
A shadow falls over Satou’s eyes.
The fingertips touching mine trembled slightly.
「They were really kind, you know. …But as we moved up grades, everyone gradually… started to become interested in romance. Some people began to confess their feelings to me.」
Satou smiles happily for just a moment.
But it quickly changes to a pained, sad expression.
「…But I rejected them. Partly because I was still in elementary school and didn’t understand anything about romance, but also… to be honest, I was uncomfortable with the way they looked at me with ulterior motives. So even when it was someone who had always been kind to me, I rejected them the same way. I said I was happy they confessed, but I still didn’t understand those things… so I rejected them.」
Her shoulders shake slightly, and her face contorts painfully.
「Then, I was told. …That after being so kind to me all this time, rejecting them was unacceptable, that if they had known it would turn out like this, they wouldn’t have been kind… “It was a waste being kind to you”, they said. Suddenly, they got angry as if they were a different person. …Excuse me for a moment.」
Satou stood up after she said that and retrieved that elementary school yearbook from the bookshelf.
With trembling fingers, she slowly turns the pages.
Then, opening to the very last page where her classmates had written messages, Satou gently traced her finger over it as if caressing a wound.
「…Did you see this?」
「…Yeah.」
She points to the malicious words written in black marker.
「They even wrote it in my yearbook. It was a waste being kind to you…」
Satou says with a trembling voice.
A tear falls from the corner of her eye, which had reached its limit of moisture.
「It scares me. Since then, talking to people, being looked at, being treated kindly, trusting someone. My chest tightens, and my legs give way. …That’s why since middle school, I’ve tried to be as plain as possible, to not attract anyone’s attention… I stopped caring for my hair and all that.」
But that’s why…
Even as tears streamed down her face, Satou smiled at me.
「It was the first time. Since then, meeting someone like Hinata-kun who I can talk to without my chest tightening. …No, that’s not right. Talking to Hinata-kun doesn’t just not hurt. It’s fun. Everything I do with Hinata-kun is fun.」
Satou says, her face a mess but still smiling.
「Even the train that used to depress me, even the school that used to scare me, I’m looking forward to them because I can meet Hinata-kun. Being looked at by people, being treated kindly, none of it scares me anymore because Hinata-kun encouraged me. The fact that I can care about my appearance again, it’s all thanks to Hinata-kun. That’s why, to me, Hinata-kun is really… really, a kind and cool person.」
「Satou…」
「…So, I don’t care about the past anymore… I’m okay now… I’m okay.」
Even as she said this, Satou shed large tears.
Looking at her, it was clear she was not okay.
「Satou.」
After gently calling her name again, I pulled her into my chest.
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and head, enveloping her trembling body.
Satou’s body, which had endured painful memories for so long, was so small.
「Thank you for telling me.」
「……」
「And well done for enduring it all.」
「…Hinata-kun…」
Murmuring my name, Satou completely relaxed.
She entrusts her entire weight to me, so I hold her firmly and gently stroke her hair.
For a while, Satou cried out loud.