What do I think?
If I were to answer honestly, it would be “a lump of meat”, but that’s probably not the answer she’s expecting.
According to what I heard from my sister, they are apparently just a lump of meat and a zombie to everyone else. In other words, they are beings that have transcended humanity.
If I upset her, it wouldn’t be surprising if I get “chomped”.
So I prepared an answer by patching together some rumors.
「She’s cute, isn’t she?」
「In what way?」
「…Well, like her beautiful blonde hair. And her sharp nose, plump lips, galaxy-like eyes…」
It’s all lies though.
How am I supposed to find good points when I can’t even see human-like parts?
If I could find them, I’d be some kind of psychic.
「That’s a perverted answer. Gross.」
「…Sorry?」
You’re being told, Hiromasa. I half-glare at the boy in the front seat.
But he seemed to have forgotten what he said a week ago and whistled with pursed lips.
Unforgivable.
And Yuna, who seemed to have updated her thoughts based on my answer, puffed out her chest and pointed at me.
「I knew it, I can’t leave Onee-chan to someone like you!」
Silence echoes in the classroom.
The piercing stares were painful.
There’s no problem even if I’m not entrusted with Nanaka.
Rather, I’d like to get away from her even if I have to beg.
「Roger that.」
「…”Roger that”? What do you mean?」
「I’ll promise to stay away from Nanaka as much as possible.」
Now I have a legitimate reason to not get involved with her.
Even if I’m questioned about the reason, mentioning Yuna’s name should settle it.
Thank you, Kusakabe Yuna. In that sense, you’re a lifesaver.
「──Wait, what are you saying!?」
But it seems good fortune doesn’t last long.
Nanaka, who apparently returned from picking flowers, came running in a panic.
A mysterious liquid is vigorously scattered across the classroom floor.
「Ah, Onee-chan.」
「Don’t act like this is some kind of coincidence!?」
「What a coincidence.」
「It’s inevitable!」
A lump of meat and a zombie face off right in front of me.
Seems like something that would be in theaters around summer vacation. Lump of Meat VS Zombie.
It would undoubtedly be a B-grade movie.
「Why are you picking on Adashino-san!」
「Because you’ve always been easily deceived…」
「T-That’s not… true…?」
「I haven’t forgotten. In elementary school, a weird old man almost lured you with salt candy.」
──Light Novels──
──Read Here──
That’s quite a sophisticated child. I try to imagine the scene.
A weird old man cheerfully offering salt candy, and a smaller lump of meat than now, pure and innocent, receiving it──.
No good, it just looks like the weird old man is putting on an act to exterminate monsters. Like Susanoo who defeated Yamata no Orochi.
Nanaka and Yuna,
「I’m a high school student now! It’s okay!」
「But you’re being deceived by that guy.」
「I’m not being deceived!」
「Then why are you involved with him?」
「Uuu…」
Are having an intense battle.
From my perspective, it’s a completely uninteresting conversation, so I’d like them to either take it outside to the hallway or at least move away from here even if they don’t leave the classroom.
After all, from an outsider’s perspective, it’s two beautiful girls going at it. Naturally, it attracts attention. Including me, who is sitting nearby and is part of the situation.
I’m not particularly an attention seeker, so I can’t welcome this situation.
However, those involved were a lump of meat and a zombie, beautiful girls from others’ perspectives. It was extremely difficult to join the conversation.
All I could do was pray and stare at the clock…
The clock, which sprints during break time, is doing a long-distance run just like during class.
With three minutes left until the bell rings, if I can endure until then, I win. Even if my classmates look at me coldly, as long as I’m not dragged into that fierce battle.
「Please help me, Adashino-san!」
I can’t hear you.
Maybe I should cover both ears.
「Yuna is strong! She’s logical and I’ve never won an argument with her since forever!」
「To be honest, I’m not good at debates either…」
「But you’re surely better than me!」
Nanaka pathetically placed a tentacle on my shoulder.
The mysterious liquid covering her seems to have high volatility, as it disappears somewhere before I know it.
Moreover, there’s no stickiness left behind, so it’s fine that it touches my uniform, but please don’t do it suddenly.
If I die from a heart attack or something, the cause will be Kusakabe Nanaka.
「…Ahh, Yuna-san?」
「Don’t call me “san”, it’s creepy.」
「Yuna.」
「Calling me by name when we haven’t known each other long, have you never had a girlfriend? Your lack of experience with women is showing. This is why virgins are…」
Can I cry now?
Why do I have to be insulted by a zombie first thing in the morning? Even if Yuna were a beautiful girl, this is the kind of insult that would make me cry rather than get excited.
Not that I have a fetish for being insulted.
「…Kusakabe.」
「That overlaps with Onee-chan.」
「Nanaka help.」
「Ehh, I told you I can’t win either!」
This isn’t about winning or losing, it’s about Yuna’s side not being willing to accept, isn’t it?
I decided to offer my prayers to the clock.
Please, I’m begging you.
Gods and Buddhas.
Ring, clock.