As I sit here swaying in the bus, it feels strange that I live my life as a student, commuting to school every day. Maybe it’s because it’s a weekday.
Also, because there’s a lump of meat sitting next to me. Reality seemed to have taken a day off.
「Adashino-san.」
「Nnn.」
「Actually, I get really carsick.」
Having gotten used to it but still not wanting to look directly at her appearance, I was leaning my elbow on the window frame, gazing outside. Then a voice like rolling bells reaches me.
It’s Kusakabe Nanaka, a so-called beautiful girl who could undoubtedly pull off the ultimate scam in a voice chat app. She turns her bright red lump of meat blue and stretches her tentacles towards me.
「So, could we switch seats?」
「Go ahead.」
「Thank you.」
If we focus only on the result of vomiting, the shock of recognizing her as a lump of meat is probably greater than motion sickness, but unfortunately, I’ve never seen anyone else who can recognize Nanaka as a monster.
I want to have normal human interactions──literally “human interactions”──so recently I’ve been trying to be gentlemanly. Even if the other party is a lump of meat, a gentleman kindly gives up his seat.
As I sit down in the seat Nanaka was in earlier, there’s a “nyuchari” sound.
I gently close my eyes. Well, I expected this.
The only saving grace is that it’s highly volatile. Since we’re on an off-campus study trip and I’m currently wearing my uniform, it would be quite troublesome if it got dirty.
「Waa… So this is Tohoku.」
「The scenery doesn’t change much.」
「That’s the kind of thing you should keep to yourself.」
「Is that so?」
「It is so.」
Apparently, it is so.
I got scolded by Nanaka, who was looking outside like a child.
Currently, it’s been over a month since high school started, and we’re on our first off-campus study trip. However, just when we were excited with anticipation, the destination turned out to be a university.
As I watched everyone clearly lose their enthusiasm, the homeroom teacher said, “Choose your favorite from the universities in this pamphlet” and quickly left the classroom.
Trying to at least get a travel-like feeling, my classmates chose a university in Tohoku. But taking the Shinkansen for the first time only to visit a university lacks a certain dream-like quality.
「Um, it’s an hour by bus, right?」
「Yeah.」
We got off the Shinkansen and transferred to a bus.
By some twist of fate, I was assigned to sit next to Nanaka, so here I am, spending the journey of the off-campus study trip with a lump of meat.
I’m used to the jealous looks from around us, but I still don’t get it. Why should I be envied for being with a lump of meat? By that logic, people who work at butcher shops must be living in an ultimate harem.
Moreover, I’m so popular that I share my heroines with others. If you guys want to meet a heroine, just go to a butcher shop and say, “150 grams of chicken breast, please.”
「…Isn’t it a bit boring?」
Perhaps tired of looking outside, Nanaka turned towards me.
Honestly, I can’t tell the front from the back of a lump of meat, so I’m just guessing.
「It is boring.」
「Let’s play a little game.」
「What kind?」
「Monsters and Spirits From All Times and Places.」
「Monsters and Spirits From All Times and Places.」
──Light Novels──
──Read Here──
That’s quite a niche choice.
It’s so niche that the words look like a special move.
The All Times and Places game is famous, but using monsters and spirits as the theme is a first for me. I guess she has confidence as a representative of monsters.
Nanaka says, “Then I’ll start” and raises one part of her lump of meat. Just like a human would raise their index finger.
「Umm… ghost!」
「Lump of meat.」
「Eh…? …Bakeneko!」
「Zombie.」
「…Werewolf!」
「Mud dauber wasp.」
「Is that even a monster?」
It’s a monster.
How else would you describe it?
She seemed to have an expression of disbelief (even though she has no face).
But with a monster showcase right in front of me.
If I don’t describe Nanaka as a monster, then a mud dauber wasp wouldn’t be a monster either, but anyone with a normal sense would definitely describe a lump of meat as a monster.
「…Mud dauber wasps are banned.」
「Why?」
「Because they’re just around, aren’t they?」
「True, they’re around.」
Like in the next classroom.
I project the image of Sakasegawa Miho, aka the mud dauber wasp, who has sadly been excluded from the monster category. No matter how you look at her, she’s a monster. If you did a street interview with a hundred people, about eighty-nine would say, “Yeah, that’s a monster.”
However, according to Nanaka, mud dauber wasps aren’t monsters, so unfortunately, Miho is now considered a normal human. Congratulations.
By the way, I started talking to Miho on a chat app, and there was an incident where her way of speaking online was so different from reality.
For example,
『You-kun, good morning~』
『Good morning.』
『Today’s such a nice weather☆』
『Yeah, I guess.』
『Looking forward to the university visit lololol (heart)』
Like that.
Scary.
Isn’t someone else operating this? Or is she a split personality?
When I first received such a message, I was really worried she had gone crazy. Like she had been parasitized by a horsehair worm or something.
As I nod to the indignant Nanaka saying, “Anyway, mud dauber wasps are banned”, and we continue the Monsters and Spirits From All Times and Places game, the scenery gradually changes from idyllic to urban.
The homeroom teacher, who was sitting at the front of the bus, stood up and asked us to prepare our luggage.
「This is exciting, isn’t it, Adashino-san?」
「Unn, well, yeah.」
If it were a university visit and the person next to me was a beautiful girl, I might have enjoyed it.
Who could enjoy being accompanied by a lump of meat? I’m sad.