Since Onee-chan pointed out my true feelings and I became aware of them, I found myself unconsciously following him with my eyes.
At first, I didn’t like him at all, and in fact, I think he was the type of person I wasn’t good with.
But as I spent everyday life with him, including housekeeping and school events, before I knew it, being with him had become the most comfortable and natural place for me.
After that, even though it was the usual housekeeping service, just the fact that he was in my house made my heart race for no reason.
And the biggest struggle is…
「I can’t do it like I used to…」
「Nn? Did you say something??」
「N-Nothing!」
That was close.
If it weren’t for the TV noise, he would have definitely heard me.
It was a close call.
I sigh in relief and quickly look away from him.
This has been repeating lately.
It’s strange. I used to be able to stare at him without a second thought.
Even now, we have little arguments and I question him about things, but I can’t be as honest as I used to be.
Because… I don’t want him to dislike me. I can’t help it…
I know he’s not the type to change his opinion of someone over a little argument.
I should know that…
「Haa… it’s painful…」
「Are you okay?」
「I’m fine! There’s nothing wrong!」
「I see… if you say so. If anything happens, don’t hold back and tell me, okay? I’ll go to the pharmacy.」
「Uhh… okay. I’m really fine.」
Why does something like this make me so happy?
Simple words I’ve heard since he first came for housekeeping, but now they resonate with me so much.
Feeling happy in this way, yet still teasing each other during tests, as the first term events ended and summer vacation approached, a certain day.
I met Eri-san at a cafe I visited on a whim.
The reason I went to the cafe was because Onee-chan had been raving about a new item there, so I came to try it.
Eri-san was dressed for going out and carrying a cute handbag.
「Ah, it’s been a while.」
「My, it’s been a while. Eri-san.」
「Is Hoshino-san here for the new item too??」
「Yes, I was a bit interested…」
「I see. Actually, so am I. Would you like to sit next to me?」
「Sure, I’ll take you up on that offer.」
As I sat next to Eri-san, I saw the new dessert I had been looking for on her table.
「Is that the one?」
「Yes, it is. It’s very delicious.」
I’m not particularly a cafe enthusiast, but it did look delicious.
「I’ll try that too.」
After ordering, the new item arrives after a while.
「It looks delicious…」
My mask almost slipped for a moment, but Eri-san didn’t seem to notice.
Feeling relieved, I gently dip my spoon into the new dessert in front of me.
「This is… amazing…」
Looking at Eri-san next to me, she was all smiles.
She seemed to be enjoying my reaction. Being watched while eating was a bit ticklish, but the new dessert took priority now.
As I was savoring the new dessert, Eri-san next to me suddenly took out her phone and showed it to me.
「W-What’s this?」
──Light Novels──
──Read Here──
The photo showed accessories like bracelets made from seashells.
「I went to the sea with Takumi-kun before, and these are accessories made from the shells we collected.」
Normally, I would have been impressed and said “That’s beautiful~”, but there was a word I couldn’t ignore.
「Eh… with Takumi-kun?」
My interest was in him.
「Yes, we went together just the two of us a while ago.」
「J-Just the two of you…」
I had no idea about this… it’s the first time I’m hearing it…
Honestly, I don’t remember much of the conversation with Eri-san after that.
But I was sure that something like jealousy was rising within me.
〇
I’m going to the amusement park with a female friend.
Recently, when I told a classmate I had become a bit closer with about my fears, they decided to drag me along without question.
For someone like me who’s not good with attractions, this is a headache-inducing event.
I couldn’t show such an embarrassing side to a classmate who I could barely call a friend, so I thought about practicing somewhere, and it just so happened to coincide with a housekeeping day.
I hadn’t seen Takumi since that conversation with Eri-san until today.
Probably because of that, the moment I saw his face, I remembered that day and wanted to complain a bit, but I held back.
Then, as usual, we had some trivial conversations, and when the time seemed right, I brought it up.
Takumi was surprised at first that I knew about him going to the beach with Eri-san, but he didn’t seem too flustered, as if he had nothing to hide.
At this point, I felt somewhat relieved.
So much so that I might have cried If he had been taken away from me.
I want to go somewhere with Takumi too.
But I didn’t have the confidence to say it straight out myself.
So, including overcoming my fears, I invited him to the amusement park.
I’ll probably end up showing an embarrassing side of myself.
But I thought that even if he laughed at me, he wouldn’t be disillusioned, and that’s why I did it.
〇
Returning to the things I’ve neglected.
It might sound good to call it a breakaway from laziness.
But I was made painfully aware that this wasn’t entirely a good thing for me, through none other than his words.
I see.
I started doing things myself because I was embarrassed for Takumi to see, but this is actually reducing his work.
I hadn’t focused on this before, so I didn’t notice at all…
At this rate, I won’t need housekeeping services anymore.
It’s supposed to be a happy and proud thing.
And yet.
Why does it hurt so much?
This moment when what was once normal is about to disappear.
Takumi was happy about my growth, but I didn’t know how to respond to him.
The housekeeping service that connected us.
What will happen if that disappears?
I know this relationship won’t completely vanish.
If we meet somewhere, we’ll probably still exchange light banter.
Becoming just classmates who know each other a bit better might not be a bad option.
But if you ask me if that’s my ideal…
Ahh… even though we’re about to go on the jet coaster I hate.
Even though I should have been so happy to come here with Takumi that I was over the moon.
For some reason, what was overflowing from within me was more anxiety than fear.
Of course, the jet coaster that day was scary.
But my fear never surpassed my anxiety.